I write this blog post to possibly help out single parents who deal with narcissistic ex’s and elementary school.
Schools almost over and all I can think about is I made it alive. I write this with a sense of victory even though there was many obstacles and a little bit of drama.My daughter started first grade at a new school Sept 2014. She went from a private kindergarten to a very public school with over 600 kids. At first I was very worried about the transition,but soon realized it was more me then her, She adapted to the change extremely well.
With a new school comes new problems. I remember when it came time to register my daughter for school my ex and I were waiting on a court order because we couldn’t agree on where to enroll her in school. I was in panic mode so I did what any rational mother would do and simply enrolled her in school,funny thing is the court didn’t even address the matter until a month or two after she started school and at the 9th hour my ex hub finally said ok sign her up by your house.
I was speechless you mean after thousands of lawyer fees that’s all it took was a simple go ahead,well thanks..I signed her up then at the next court hearing my ex tells the judge that he never gave me the ok. Huh? What? Here we go again when your dealing with narcissist this is what happens things get tricky and they change. Tip: always carry a tape recorder or a pen and paper they’re slick. I didn’t worry but the cute part was the call I got from my ex hub and his mom stating that theyre registering her for school huh? What? Shes already registered. Then im told that when I did register my daughter they accidentally switched my daughters paperwork with another Layla Howard. Wait what? Everything was taken care of eventually,but I had to hear how incapable I was of simply registering my daughter for school and I of course received a text from my ex with his superman cape on detailing on how he saved the day and what would I ever without him. I thought to myself I’m living very happily without thanks!
Thankfully Layla was blessed with an amazing and patient teacher this year because my ex was always pulling fast ones. We instantly hit it off I thought finally I’m winning. My situation is unique so I needed a teacher to be patient and understanding.In my co-parenting situation my ex and I don’t communicate at all unless extreme emergencies and even then he hangs up on me wont communicate back so throughout the school year if I hadn’t grown close to my daughters teacher I would know exactly 50% of what goes on. I have to work hard and parent even when I have no kids.I’m not complaining just adding that it takes a lot of work and even more work to deal with someone who refuses to co-parent volunteered and was extremely active in her school because I only have 50% custody.When you’re a divorced parent although you only have the kids 50% of the time your still a parent 100% of the time.For my situation it’s even worse because my ex refuses communication until the very last-minute if at all so if I don’t find out myself I wont know whats going on.
throughout the school year I would go on to experience all sorts of unexpected issues and emotion such as open house at my daughters school. I was there with my both my kids when I turned around and couldn’t find my daughter. I look around in panic and there he is my ex, am I surprised he showed up? absolutely not its who he showed up with that took me for surprise. He showed up with some women who I’d never met,but obviously have heard she was working for my ex so of course it was surprising when she shows up at my daughters open house. As soon as I saw my daughter I polity walked over and introduced myself,funny she knew who I was. The meeting didn’t last long as soon as my ex and I locked eyes and he saw me shaking this ladies hand he bolted out of my daughters classroom leaving his lady friend and making her have run to catch him.Why did he show up? I waved bye and continued looking at my daughters classwork. I got home and realized wow I handled that situation with class. You just never know the situation you will face when divorced and raising children especially once they get to school. Needless to say I haven’t seen that lady again,but im glad I met her because in that moment you really don’t know how you might react to a situation like that,but i know that i wish him the best and if he felt the need to showcase his lady friend at my daughters open house then by all means do it. My focus is on my daughter not grand entrances. among other issues.
During the school year my daughter lost approx. 6 teeth well guess what they always fell out when my daughter was with her dad and since he refused give me any teeth. I at least wanted all of my daughters art work and paperwork the kids make so many cute projects and arts and crafts especially in first grade,well so the other day I asked my daughters teacher if she had anything I could take home because it’s the end of the year and she gave me a bunch of amazing items. I felt victorious. In divorces unless you have full custody you miss out on special moments/teeth /accomplishments so I realized that you have to seize the moment when the opportunity arises and though this may seem like a small victory it was a big victory for me. It’s the little things that can make the biggest impact. Talk to you soon….Thank you for your support.