I think that before you get married whether It’s the priest,minister,rabbi,or whomever your having marry you should read each of you your “Miranda rights” or shall I say my revised version of the Miranda rights. It should go like this” You have the right to remain silent.Anything you say or do can and will be used against you in a court of law eventually,because after all 50% of marriages end in divorce and well I think if we knew that everything we say and do would be used against us in a court of law then I’m sure most of us would do things differently.When you get married most of the time everything is all good,but the truth of the matter is when you don’t get along most of us that are about to embark upon divorce don’t realize that it just might get ugly. In my case things got really ugly.I never thought that when I said my marriage vows that one day everything I said and did would be used against me. My ex husband threw the kitchen sink at me (no literally) he used everything he could to use against me to gain the upper hand in our custody dispute. He even used things against me that I didn’t do. He literally tried to paint the ugliest picture of me that he could.Meanwhile I just simply told the truth,even though others encouraged me to fight ugly and just as dirty.I do believe that if I was read my Miranda rights things would be different,however when your dealing with a narcissist there’s no preparation in that. The only way to escape a “narc” (that’s my nickname for a narcissist) is to either do what they want or run once you get the slightest inkling that they’re a narc. I of course didn’t become aware that my ex was a narc until it was too late. I was 2 kids deep and approaching a divorce. I was still naive to think that we could actually be civil. Boy was I wrong.Narcs only think about themselves and this narc was all about his “money”. If I walked away with nothing then everything would have been great,but dare i to ask for anything then there was hell to pay.If I had to do it all over again I would of probley still married the narc and even had the 2 kids because I fell in love,but I would have damn sure of prepared myself for what I was going to be in for once I decided that I wanted out.
The one thing that I did that my narc hated was I fought back,but because of what he said I had to prove that I was a good mother to my children when my narc said I wasn’t, even though throughout our marriage he always said I was such a good mom. I fought back and I won. My advice to anyone going through a divorce with a narc is not to be blind.Always assume that “everything you say or do will be used against you in a court of law “eventually” because if a narc thinks that he’s loosing control he will do or say anything to bring you down…In my next blog I will talk about characteristics of a Narcissist. Narcs need to come with warning signs that state “im a narcissist be aware” I’m dangerous.I’m unpredictable and I’m very charming and handsome. I will lie to get what I want and if you don’t do what I say I will destroy you. I will lie to my lie to my family. I will do my best to turn our children against you.I want you to have nothing,but what i’m willing to give you. Narcissistic personality disorder is serious and its scary. Please be aware.